Is it just me or does it seem like everyone is talking about Rachel Hollis's book Girl, Wash your Face lately? Maybe I'm really oblivious but I had actually never heard of Rachel Hollis before this book title started following me everywhere.
One of my goals for myself is to read more books. As a child I was a huge reader (possibly because my parents pretty much brainwashed me and told me that if I read a lot of books I'd be rich when I was older) but I completely stopped reading for pleasure in college due to all the reading I had to do for my classes. So, as I try to read more books now (again possibly because I'm waiting to hit the # of books that will somehow magically make me rich), I thought I'd give this book a try. It did not disappoint and is totally worth all of the hype around it. Rachel is super real, honest, and even funny as she debunks the "lies" she's told herself over her life and career which are lies the majority of us tell ourselves every day.
I promise I'm not about to jump into a book review but I did want to share some of the lies I find I tell myself as well and the tips Rachel shared in the book that I plan to implement in my daily life.
Lie #1: Something else will make me happy. This is what Rachel starts the book with and I think my initial reaction was "oh gosh here we go how cliché," however Rachel's narrative took a different approach. We are in charge of our own happiness. It is our personal choice to be happy and no one and nothing can affect that. Sure, the universe sometimes throws us tough situations but we always have the choice to be happy in every situation. One way I'm planning to do this is to be more conscious that happiness is a decision and also by spending more time doing things that make. me happy - like yoga. I absolutely love yoga, especially hot power yoga. I always find it difficult to get to yoga but whenever I do, I am so happy so I'm going to try and make an effort to do that more. I also love watching movies with CJ and cooking/baking. I need to prioritize doing these activities more.
Lie #2: I'll start tomorrow. Now this one really spoke to me. I don't know how many times I've said "I'll start tomorrow" whether it's about the gym, calling old friends, meal prepping my lunches etc. and then it never happens. We all do it and for some reason we all tend to think it's ok. Rachel reminds us that the things we always say we'll start tomorrow on are often things that are good for us. They are promises to ourselves that we make and then break over and over again. She relates it to having a friend that always says she'll do something and then never comes through then compares it to friends who make promises and always come through. I know this is a habit I have to break for myself and here's how I plan on doing it.
Starting with one small goal - Starting with small achievable goals is key. I always start with a major goal rather than little milestones towards that goal so it's easy to get discouraged.
Being careful with my commitments - I always fall victim into committing too much. I always say yes. I need to prioritize on what matters most so I can stay focused on my goals rather than having too many and getting overwhelmed and giving up.
Being honest with myself - I need to be honest with myself about what I blow off. Not waking up to go to the gym in the morning a couple days in a row is teaching me that habit which is going to make attaining my goals much harder. I'm also blowing off a promise to myself which isn't cool.
Other Lies:
I'm Not Good Enough/I'm Better Than You: I want to say that I struggle with the first part more; but as I typed this I did a bit of self reflection and realized no... I struggle with the second part too, I just don't notice it as much. The "I'm not good enough" is something I struggle with in terms of I don't know everything. I know confidence is something I need to work on. I am very hard on myself and know that I need to work on becoming prouder of who I am. Immediately, seeing the opposite I was like oh well clearly I don't have that problem. But here's the thing - I do. I just don't notice. I think I'm more judgmental that I would ever admit or ever even realize and the wild part is I know I'm not better than anyone else and that no one is better than me. I often find myself comparing myself to others "oh well I went to a better school than her" or "I have a real job," now that I'm self reflecting I'm realizing how awful it is. I think I don't realize it because I only ever think it about people I'm removed from compared to those I see every day but it's definitely something that needs to stop. Rachel recommends policing ourselves for this and it's definitely something I'm going to start doing. If I find myself thinking or saying something negative about someone, I'm going to replace it with a compliment.
There's Only One Right Way to Be: This one's self explanatory.
I Need to Make Myself Smaller: I have always been "small." I'm petite at 5'2" and I have always been on the thinner side. However, just as the media tells us I always believe I need to be smaller. When I hop on a scale and see I've gained a couple pounds because well this is life and weight fluctuates, I always get so upset. I, like the rest of the world, needs realize it's not about being smaller or fitting into the size 26 jeans. It's about being healthy and happy and feeling good about who you are.
I Need a Hero: I think this one's simple to explain, we all think we need a hero; but in reality we all just need to learn to love ourselves and be proud of who we are and be our own heroes.